motherhood is a life-changing event.you grow to understand things that up until now, you couldn’t wrap your head around before.

like, for instance, your relationship with your own mother.

not understanding why she wouldn’t let you go to the dance with that boy that was 3 years older.or why on earth she was so [...]]]>

motherhood is a life-changing event.
you grow to understand things that up until now, you couldn’t wrap your head around before.

like, for instance, your relationship with your own mother.

not understanding why she wouldn’t let you go to the dance with that boy that was 3 years older.
or why on earth she was so unreasonable when you had the brilliant idea of sneaking off to the dance anyway.

as I travel through this new life of mine, I find myself discovering moments where I actually understand what my mother was going through.

her thoughts.
her actions.
her feelings.

I find myself thinking, acting and feeling just as she did.

when my mom called me Wednesday evening, I felt my heart drop down so low, I could feel it resting on my stomach.

she had a Mammogram last Friday and her Gyno called her, wanting her to come back for a redo.
that’s all the nurse would say.
no “I’m sure it’s nothing. We just want to be safe.” shpeel.

only, “There was something on the film we need to check out. And then, we may send you to Ultra Sound.”

there was no comfort in those words.

I went with my mother to her re-check this morning.
I was upbeat, positive.
changing the subject every time she gave me a horror story passed on to her by aunt J.

I sat there in the waiting room, in the Mammo room and then in the Tech’s office.

praying.

praying silently.
so she wouldn’t hear.
hear how deeply frightened I was.

I didn’t want to lose my mom.
my mom lost her mom.
and I watched it tear her apart.

I love my mom.
I know she knows it.
and now, you all know it.

and you also know what the doctor told us when he read her film, today.

“It’s nothing. See you back in a year.”

no.
it wasn’t nothing.
it was everything.
everything I was agonizingly praying over.

my heart lifted again back into it’s rightful place.
and I was given a very stern reminder….

hug your mama tight.

once my wonderful little helper and Mediator is gone, I will be left alone with “the boys”.when they’re all together at once, it can get insane, I admit. but the level in which the boys “let loose” is quadrupled when [...]]]>
Zoe only has 2 weeks until school starts and I’m already fearing for my life.

once my wonderful little helper and Mediator is gone, I will be left alone with “the boys”.
when they’re all together at once, it can get insane, I admit. but the level in which the boys “let loose” is quadrupled when they are left alone together.

Zoe is their buffer, she mellows them a bit. she keeps them in check. she is, after all, the “boss”.

when Zoe goes to grandma and papa’s for a sleepover, all hell is unleashed.
it’s like the two of them compare notes and try to think up the most dastardly stunts to pull on mommy while they have the chance.

tips for boys who who are looking to combine forces:

rummage through the recycling bin of pop cans and newspaper.
try and shoot for 5 times in one morning.

stick the shiniest, skinniest object you can find in every available outlet.
shoot for three or four times in one morning.

pull all the pillows off the couches.
300 times in one hour. (try hard to multi-task other shenanigans with this one. you’ll find, it’s quite effective.)

pour contents of cereal box onto the kitchen floor. it is best to try this one at least once each day just to keep mommy on her toes. (it’s fun to watch her pull out the vacuum cleaner because then you can take turns pulling the cord out of the wall while she tries to clean your mess up.)

open the fridge and pull out the milk. but the milk is too heavy, so you drop it on the floor and the plastic carton cracks and now you have a nice milk pond to play in for the next 5 minutes. (this only works when the milk carton is just opened and barely used, so pull the milk out on a daily basis just to check.)

engage in sword fights with any long hard objects you can round up. chase each other through the house screaming and fighting.
call each other names like, “poop head” and stick your tongue out at each other.

if mommy gives you something to drink, sneak it over to the couch and sprinkle it all over the cushions. now hide the cup somewhere or put it back on the table so mommy won’t find what you’ve done until the stain has set in.

take turns strangling each other while you both giggle and choke simultaneously.

take turns whining throughout the day about whatever floats your boat.
“I’m hungry.”
“I’m thirsty”
“He pushed me.”
“HE pushed ME, first.”
these all work well.

when mommy looks like she has just about reached the end of her rope, tug on it just a little harder, repeat all the steps a couple more times until she pulls out the Industrial size bottle of “Excedrin”.

your job is complete.

~Zachary and Zander

*and don’t you dare think for one second that any of this is made-up!

today was, however, somewhat eventful. I got some things taken care of in preperation for our new dwelling. we move in this weekend quietly screaming and I have to finish boxing [...]]]> and I am so depressed that this is my first encounter with my computer today.(aside from a quick comment on my favorite NEW blog.

today was, however, somewhat eventful. I got some things taken care of in preperation for our new dwelling. we move in this weekend quietly screaming and I have to finish boxing stuff up here, clean this place down to the bones, paint the kitchen, livingroom/dining area and the basement family room at the new place and I promised a friend I would watch her baby Wednesday afternoon and all day Friday!

so, I ask you….am I completely insane?
why am I doing this to myself? I had no idea I was a sadist!

if there are any heavy chores you have piling up, feel free to ask me for some help. apparently I’m in just the mood to take on tasks I cannot humanly carry out.
not without alcohol, anyway! or an extremely heavy sedative.

I guess it’s just the “desperate mother” in me that can’t say no to a friend. I know my friend needs me desperately to watch her baby. and I know my friend who is managing the house we are moving into, needs my help desperately with the painting.
I just can’t turn down those “puppy dog” eyes of a mommy-in-need. and these particular mommies-in-need are both mothers of five! (that number has desperation written all over it, people!)

so if you don’t see any posts here for a while, you know where I’ll be.

getting myself measured for one of these…..

I wonder if they have one in pink?