As a mother of two boys, I’ve encountered some things that would make your mother blush.After having a girl, it became quite clear the stark difference [...]]]> Just because I need a good laugh today and to serve as a little reminder that….it could be worse:

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

There’s a first time for everything…

As a mother of two boys, I’ve encountered some things that would make your mother blush.
After having a girl, it became quite clear the stark difference between boys and girls. My yellow toilet bowl and supply of anti-racing stripe strength Bleach are a strong testament to this.

My boys leave me dumbfounded on a daily basis, thinking up new and inventive ways to crush any hopes that they may someday manage to make it to age 12.
Between the fist fights, running with scissors, sliding down the stairs in laundry baskets and riding their bikes naked, I often seek comfort by assuming that these must be things that are common among little boys.

But this afternoon, my 2 year old had me questioning “life” itself.

I can’t imagine what on earth this child was thinking when he found himself covered in a wad of gum and came asking his mother for help in removing said gum from said one’s
“member”.

In all my days, in all my “mother of two boys” life, I have never experienced the horror that is
slathering peanut butter on your 2 year old’s nether region.

No mother should have to succumb to this.
And I am pretty certain the lady OR gentlemen on the other line of the Jif 1-800 24 hour support line doesn’t want to either.

My unsympathetic mother tried making light of the situation by stating that “at least he has no hair there, yet!”

Gee, thanks. mom. Thanks for reminding me of one more thing I have to look forward to.

My boys leave me dumbfounded on a daily [...]]]>
As a mother of two boys, I’ve encountered some things that would make your mother blush.
After having a girl, it became quite clear the stark difference between boys and girls. My yellow toilet bowl and supply of anti-racing stripe strength Bleach are a strong testament to this.

My boys leave me dumbfounded on a daily basis, thinking up new and inventive ways to crush any hopes that they may someday manage to make it to age 12.
Between the fist fights, running with scissors, sliding down the stairs in laundry baskets and riding their bikes naked, I often seek comfort by assuming that these must be things that are common among little boys.

But this afternoon, my 2 year old had me questioning “life” itself.

I can’t imagine what on earth this child was thinking when he found himself covered in a wad of gum and came asking his mother for help in removing said gum from said one’s
“member”.

In all my days, in all my “mother of two boys” life, I have never experienced the horror that is
slathering peanut butter on your 2 year old’s nether region.

No mother should have to succumb to this.
And I am pretty certain the lady OR gentlemen on the other line of the Jiffy 1-800 24 hour support line doesn’t want to either.

My unsympathetic mother tried making light of the situation by stating that “at least he has no hair there, yet!”

Gee, thanks. mom. Thanks for reminding me of one more thing I have to look forward to.

I have no kind things to say to you. I have entered the bathroom on a daily basis, to find a fluorescent trail mapping out your bad aim all over my porcelain throne.

well, howdy-doody-daw. so, according to all the Google responses, I can easily repair a tear in my Berber with Elmer’s glue.well, gee, thanks guys. I guess if I had a big giant rip in the section of carpeting that my two year old poured glue [...]]]> “How do I get Elmer’s glue out of Berber carpet?”

well, howdy-doody-daw. so, according to all the Google responses, I can easily repair a tear in my Berber with Elmer’s glue.
well, gee, thanks guys. I guess if I had a big giant rip in the section of carpeting that my two year old poured glue onto, I would be saved!!!
thanks. thanks alot, Google.
*note EXTREMELY sarcastic tone!*